~~ INTERLUDE BEGIN ~~ The group ahs returned to the inn, to get sme well deserevd relaxation after the encounetr with Clarissa. The baths, bed, and even lounge seem very tempting for the tired souls to ease their uncertainty. Most have dispersed to their places, but their feeligns have not. :) * Rachel wanders through the Inn aimlessly, sort of like some poor wretch without a mind, her body a tightly coiled thing of tension and pent up emotion.. ^_^ . o O (....again...another close fight...how many times will you just barely survive. How many times will your risk those you love.) * Rachel passes by the room she knows Keylia retired to....to nap.... . o O (Keylia doesn't normally nap....this isn't right...none of it is..I'm the fucking Mana Knight, not some stupid twit....how come I can't protect the ones I love?!) * Rachel pauses at the door before moving on, shaking her head... Rachel hears the sounds of soft snoring. . o O (She needs her rest. They all do. I need to get a goddamn clue before I kill someone...before I lose my head again and turn on them instead of the enemy....) * Rachel wanders down the hall, passing the rooms of others...pausing again at Chrys's... .... * Rachel raises her hand to knock but lets it drop.. . o O (Leave him. What does it matter, Rachel? Oh yeah. Like he really loves you. Huh. It won't matter in the end, girl...) * Rachel shakes her head harder and narrows her eyes, heading down to her room but stopping finally at Cody's.. 4>> Cody's door is ajar, but it's sort of dim inside. Rachel finds the door is ajar. * Rachel blinks dully at the slightly ajar door.. .... . o O (Say something. Knock. Do something. Fuck, you twit, you can't do shit all right, can you? Rache....let him go. Let them all goddamn go. He and Rahne are....are....) * Rachel makes a soft sound.. 4>> There's a soft shifting noise from within. * Rachel reaches for the door but stops her hand, watching it shake.. .... . o O (Leave.) * Rachel chews on her bottom lip and peers in despite the screaming in her head.. 4>> The room is dark and a few beams of moonlight creep over the wooden floor. Cody curled up on his bed, apparently asleep. He has a large bandage wrapped around his chest and the blankets are sort of pooled around his feet again, like last time. * Rachel furrows her brow and feels guilty for peeking into Cody's room.. . o O (He has a nice chest....god, shut the hell up.) * Rachel looks lost for a few moments, leaning against the doorframe almost bonelessly... she murmurs.. "....is this how it'll always be....lost in dreams and nightmares, cast among the stars with the gods...drifting, helpless....alone..." * Cody shifts a bit in bed and murmers softly. S...someone there? * Rachel wideyes and freezes ^^; . o O (If I don't move, he can't see me! right?! RIGHT?!?! AH GODDDDddddd!!!) 4>> There's light in the room as Cody appearently lights a candle. * Rachel grits her teeth ^^; 4>> The wooden boards creak as Cody hops down from the bed, and walks across the room. * Rachel turns and tries to run from her spot ^^; Rache...Hey! Wait! * Rachel freezes. ^^; . o O (Well. That's...just....peachy.) What are you doing? It's really late....are you okay? Y-yeah. I'm cool. I was just making sure everyone was alright. You know. Keeping guard. * Cody has a blanket over his shoulder now, and is holding a small candle in his hands. It illuminates his face. "I..I see. Want some company? You look lonely." I...I'm not lonely...I'm not. You should sleep more... * Rachel runs a hand through her tangled hair.. . o O (Liar.) * Cody chuckles a little, but he has a gentle smile, "Liar. Come in...I would have woken up in an hour screaming anyway." * Rachel darkens a little and looks at Cody in concern.. "Still those dreams...." * Cody nods. "Already had one tonight..." * Rachel shuffles her feet and heads a little into the room, not wanting to be out in the corridor... "Yeah..? Feel like talking about it?" I don't mind...but talking in the hall isn't very smart. We might wake people up. ^^; I guess so... I had the dream back in Pandora... I had it again tonight.. * Rachel looks at Cody, leaning against the windowsill in his room, the moonlight illuminating her. "Yeah? What's it about..?" Well...see...I'm walking through a snowy wood. It's really cold...and I'm lost. I think I must have had a guide but I lost him or her and I'm just...wandering. * Rachel raises an eyebrow a little, listening silently... So I'm slipping on the ice a lot and getting lost... * Cody 's face darkens, and he tightens his grip on the candle, "Then it shows up..." It...? It...I don't have a name for it, really. It's just this dark androgonyus thing ...and it has a whip of thorns... And at first, I think that maybe its a friend. Then I realize I don't have any...and it strikes me in the face... In the face... Yes...in the face....and so I freak out and start running, and it keeps running after me and striking me with its whip from behind... Then I fall down a hillside, and I THINK I lost it, but I'm bleeding a lot and I know I'm dying from hypothermia...it hurts so much.... * Rachel stands a little from the windowsill and instinctively steps towards Cody... Then somehow it finds me again and grabs me by the shirt. It tells me "Why do you run from me?....We all must accept what the Goddess has given us...but you run from my judgement. We all have our place in things...." Or something like that...Then he takes his whip and ties it like a noose...and he wraps it around my neck... .... * Cody puts a hand on his neck absentmindedly, "And the thorns pierce it and that hurts...but he's cutting off my air and I can't breathe....and then I feel myself flying up and I can see him putting my body on the ground. I see hte snow covering it. He says I found my place. And then everything gets white. Tonight's dream was a little different. When things got white...I heard water running somewhere." Then I woke up. * Rachel murmurs.. "Those are some dreams, alright....no wonder you hate sleeping..." * Cody sighs, "I really didn't intend for you to come in my room and have me whine about my sleeping problems. I really didn't...." Hey...no....it's alright... I want to help you... * Cody looks a little sad, "You can't help me the way I'd like to be helped. No one can, really...and it's a silly wish." Sometimes silly wishes are all we have.......what's your wish, Cody...? My wish... * Cody closes his eyes, "In my dreams...I always die alone. It's not so much the pain and the gore of all the dreams, but that I'm so alone! I just...I want one dream where I'm helped, you know? Where I don't have to suffer alone...where somehow something helps me and no one has to suffer." * Cody opens his eyes, "Isn't that a silly wish?" * Rachel quietly touches Cody's cheek. "That's not silly. Lot's of people wish for that. Just in different ways. One day, Cody, I promise you....you'll get your wish." Thank you, Rachel... * Rachel drops her hand to her side... "Don't mention it..." * Cody hmms and looks thoughtful, "What's your wish, Rachel?" * Rachel lets out a soft, bitter laugh.. "I don't have one, Cody..." Oh come on. Everyone has one. Even Emperor Julius has one, and he's not the nicest of men. * Rachel shakes her head and closes her eyes, turning to the window and hugging herself. "But he's not me..." * Cody rises and sets the candle down, "Rachel...I know that. I just mean that no matter what happens...to anyone...you can't kill a person's dreams." They...just get buried, but they're still there. * Rachel opens her eyes and you can see the deep hurt in their depths, reflected dimly in the window's glass as she stares out into the night, fingers reaching up to touch the cold glass... ".....I wish I could believe that..." Hey... * Cody puts a hand on her shoulder, "I had to hold onto my dreams because I knew they were real...when things got bad, you know? It gave me hope." * Rachel murmurs... "I...I wish I hadn't met Keylia..." Why not? You two seem to be really close. No..I mean... if I hadn't met her... I'd be...I'd have.. I don't quite follow you... * Rachel sighs softly and shakes her head, leaning her forehead against the glass... "It's not important, really... just me being stupid...." Rachel, you're not being stupid...:/ * Cody hugs her gently, "Is it about what happened earlier today?" * Rachel blinks as she's hugged and closes her eyes tight, fighting tears. "W...what about today..?" You put too much pressure on yourself... Rachel, you're the Mana Knight, granted, but no one, not even the most skilled warriors ever to live can prevent people getting hurt in a battle. You held us together today. I admired you. :) I...I didn't...I....you admired me...? Yeah...I did. Clarissa wasn't very bright...but she was a strong foe...and we got through the trial just fine...alive. You held us together. But we didn't...don't you see...? Keylia got hurt....she's....she's not well...she doesn't normally nap...but now she is...and Chrys was almost...and... Rhiana... * Rachel inhales softly, stopping herself from losing control of her emotions. But Rachel...getting through a battle like that perfectly is almost impossible. You made due with what you had. What you have to realize is that, yes, you are the leader...but you're human. And we're not exactly mindless either. We also had to be smart and keep ourselves alive too. There's some things that people do that you can't control, even though you want to... I can't lose you.......or anyone... I can't... * Rachel 's shoulders quake for a moment. Rachel... Sometimes there are just too many varibles that we can't control. I don't want to lose anyone either...In a way...you're all helping me...and if you all died...-_-; But I know that I'll do all I can to prevent it, but sometimes...things just go beyond someone's control. * Rachel looks at Cody... "It's....you don't... I'm.." * Rachel rubs her neck and looks at the floor... I don't want you to die...or anyone... So I'll do what I can to prevent that... It's all I can do... * Rachel opens her mouth but has trouble replying...she takes a soft breath again.. "God, Cody...I wish that things were different..." In what way? I wish you had never been beaten up by those bullies at your hometown.. I wish that Chrys hadn't had the hard time he had growing up...that Tori hadn't gone through whatever he has to make him so...so cold... I wish I had never met.... * Rachel trails off.. ...me? No... Keylia, then? * Rachel closes her eyes and shakes her head.. "It's...not important. I shouldn't wish like that. It'll drive me crazy..." Rachel... Not that I'm not crazy already.. * Rachel sighs and tilts her head back.. You're not.... You're not crazy. Don't think that. It won't matter... It matters. Especially to you. Don't you ever think that you're crazy or not special. Because you... * Cody trails off. .......does Rahne like me? Wha? * Cody blinks at the subject change. ^^; * Rachel clenches at her arms. Does she? I think so. Rahne feels that you don't like her, actually. Well, she feels everyone doesn't like her. Well she's wrong. I know, and I tell her that... But she's so sad all the time. :/ She needs you, I think. Needs....me? I mean. As a friend. She's so fragile.. It's like she's made of glass. She's not that fragile. But she's confused and I don't think she's used to friends...like me. * Rachel laughs lowly.. "That's what I meant. Mentally. You're good for her, you make her smile." Well, I try to be there for her. You're my friend too, Rachel. :) I know.... I'll support you with whatever you need, Cody...always. * Cody shuffles his feet a little, and smiles. I appreciate that. * Rachel nods a little and sighs softly... "Just...keep in mind that not everyone is a bully....not everyone is like those dickheads in Kippo...." I know... . o O (Take your own advice...) But sometimes, I see it in the group anyway... * Cody frowns. It's always 'Cody, you're inexperienced. C'mere kid. Stay to the back Cody, you're doing it wrong, Cody. You're such a fool, Cody...' I sense them saying it or thinking it all the time. But I'm not a warrior or a mecenary or a desciple like Rahne. I'm just... You. Yeah... And you're lucky for that. You have no idea how many times I wished I was someone else...-_-; I'd go to bed and pray at night that I'd wake up normal with no strange powers that people gawk at, and call me freakish at...and I don't have bad dreams and I'm liked... It's like...I finally find friends...but not without price, you know? People in Kippo are suffering. And I'm happy to have you as friends. So happy...but... * Rachel closes her eyes.. "We'll find a cure, Cody...we will.....and then you'll be a hero...and free..." Free? I doubt that. But I hope we'll find a cure. I'm sure we will.. We will....I won't rest until we do... I have to ask you a question, though.... * Rachel blinks a little.. "Yes..?" Why...why are you so deadset on helping me? I mean, it's appreciated... But... * Rachel gently brushes past Cody, unable to stay still now, pacing a little around the Inn room.. "Is this for me? Personally? Or does it apply to the whole group?" ^^; I'm just confused. You. Personally. From tbe beginning, you wanted to help me...you didn't even want to be payed or anything...I'm not saying you're a greedy moneygrubber...you're not...but... ....maybe you remind me of me sometimes.....something I lost. I do? Can I ask why? What you lost? * Rachel turns to look at Cody from the middle of his room, seeming suddenly very weak and scared.. "Everything. You're....you've got this...aura...of light....just...safety and joy....despite everything....all you've gone through...." I...I do? I don't know...I always thought I was an angsty, pansy type. You're not a pansy. Don't say that, you're not. I'd give anything to go back and kick the asses of whoever made you feel that way.... * Rachel stops herself from saying 'like I should've before' Heh...I wish I had the guts to fight back, you know? I tried to but I never did... You know... * Cody sits down, "There was this one time this...warrior stopped at our in. She saved a bunch of kids in Kippo from frothing rabites or something." ... She was covered in mud. I never caught her name, and she seemed sort of moody...but she was able to fight...I admired that. I wish I had her courage. You have courage...inside....you have a different kind...she wasn't brave...I mean.. * Cody looks up sharply, "How would you know if she wasn't brave or not?" * Rachel twitches and looks faintly caged in. "Just a guess..." * Cody stands up suddenly, peering at her, "Wait a minute..." * Rachel holds her breath and looks at the floor. * Cody 's eyes widen, "Your voice...her voice...it was YOU, wasn't it? You were that woman...!" I... Rachel, what HAPPENED to you that day? O_o When you came to the inn you were covered in mud and completely malnourished...and hurt! * Rachel shifts a little... I...fell on a dresser...? * Cody shakes his head a little, and walks over to Rachel, "^^; That's as lame as my 'I got a black eye from my dresser' excuse. Even Rahne didn't buy it. I could tell." I just...saw those kids...and...helped them...and.. * Rachel rubs her neck.. It was very brave of you. You saved their lives. It wasn't anything... You don't have to tell me what happened before that, if you don't want to. But you can always talk to me...and it was something, Rachel. It was special. You were a hero. You don't have to weild a Mana sword to be one... * Rachel looks at Cody, tears in her eyes... "I wish you wouldn't say that..." Hey... * Cody wipes away her tears, "You are a heroine...to them and to me. :)" * Rachel almost flinches but noticably forces herself to stay put... "Thank you... I...uh..." * Cody 's face loses a bit of color and he stumbles forward, mumbling about injuries. ^^; * Rachel wideyes and steadies Cody.. "Oh jeez...how stupid of me...you're wounded...you need to rest...back to bed with you!" No! It's okay...I'll be all right, really. Or at least I can talk to you while sitting down? If you want... I mean.....I can't be that exciting.. ^^; ^^; I enjoy talking with you. . o O (Ooh. Augh, stupid butterflies. Fuck off.) * Rachel offers Cody a small shy look. "Alright...but you better sit down, mister!" ^^; Okay. Promise. ...god, I really do sound like Keylia.. * Cody carefully sits himself down on the bed, half lying down and propping himself up with pillows, "^^ Well, at least this injury makes me focus less on my black eye? ^^;" * Rachel blinks and looks amused. "Yeah...those dressers are nuts, though, eh?" They'll getcha everytime! ^_- I won't even ask what inspired you to use that excuse.. ;) ...I was uncreative today? ^^; * Rachel chuckles lowly. "I was gonna say that you defended me from a buncha ogres that were living in my toilet...don't feel bad." I wish I thought of that excuse. Least it's creative. ^_^ Less believable...people buy the dresser one a lot, you'd be surprised. ;) * Rachel pauses for a moment at that. ^^; Well, I've used the dresser one on my parents a lot. Eventually they figured out that I was getting beat up a lot. Your parents are apparently very smart people.... Sometimes...Sometimes I don't think they saw how unhappy I was. * Rachel slides down the wall opposite from Cody's bed, gazing at him from the darkness... "Maybe they did...maybe they just didn't know how to help you...." I don't know. They were always so overprotective...I never left the village....not until I met you. I'd kill for some parents like that, stud....even if they're overprotective, it's cause they love you, y'know? I know they love me... ...I miss them... Hope they're okay... They are, Cody....how can they not be when they know their son is out here trying to help them... * Cody smiles a little, "I just want them to be alive when I get back...Heck, I even hope that Mark and Brad are all right and they're jerks." I just feel like...sometimes.... I wonder...if it really was all me... * Rachel opens her mouth, remembering that she sort of kinda killed Brad. Or was it Mark? eheheh. All you...? Whaddaya mean? ...If I somehow in some way caused the poisoning of Kippo. If it wasn't the Empire. If it was me... Aw, Cody...no....it wasn't you...it really wasn't...those Empire jerks did it.. How do we know though? It's all speculation. We know the Empire is up to soemthing ...but... No... Cody....c'mon...it wasn't you....how the hell would you poison a whole town, stud..? I don't know...I don't know! I just...Rachel, why was the sword in my house? How could I NOT know the sword was in my house! Because it was a rusted piece of junk.. But I should have known! They obviously poisoned that sword to kill everyone off, then loot the town for the sword, right? So if I just...knew about it...the sword...I could have hidden it...protected it and everyone... And no one would have had to suffer. * Rachel frowns deeply and slides over to Cody's bedside. "Don't do that. It wasn't you. Wasn't the sword. It was the Empire. The water." . . . But indirectly, it was my fault. How? How was it? God, the Empire doesn't need reason....doesn't need ryhme for anything it does... it's evil, Cody...they'll trample small towns, large cities to get what they want.....the fact you lived in Kippo, in the Inn with the sword was just some weird fluke..! Why would they poison a town like Kippo otherwise? If not for the sword? To hold the cure for ransom. To gain power. To hurt, to conquer. They have no reason to trample it. The empire may be evil, but they always have a motive for what they do. In the past, they've always done it usually for conquering, yes. But they use Mana to do it. And the Mana Sword plays a large part in that. Cody.....you can't blame yourself for this...you can't.. I can't help it.... I keep telling myself 'No Cody, there was nothing you could have done. It's not your fault', but my heart says something different... * Rachel closes her eyes and a memory flashes through her head, causing her to sigh softly... "...I know.....but...what you gotta do when that happens is listen to your friends..." I do...I do listen to you... But it's hard, you know? I'll probably feel this way till I find out the truth. * Rachel reaches out into the darkness to touch Cody's hand. "I know.....but it'll be okay...it will be....you'll see...." * Cody takes her hand and sighs, "I hope so. I'm sure it will be..." Thanks, Rachel. ...no problem, Cody....s'what I'm here for... I'm here too, remember... * Rachel murmurs softly, very low.. "..I know....but I'm alright..." ...Can I be honest? Hey, I'm not gonna stop you.. Okay...(Sighs) You're not all right...I can tell...in your eyes. You're in a lot of pain. But I won't force you to tell me. That's your choice...but...I know that you're not okay...that you're hurting... ...and I'm worried about you. * Rachel 's grip loosens a little, hand shaking a little despite herself.. "I'm....f-...f--fi.........I really need to wear sunglasses..." Rachel... * Cody reaches over and quietly hugs her. It's okay...you don't have to tell me...I'm just here if you need me. * Rachel stiffens a little in his hug but relaxes, closing her eyes and savoring the warmth, feeling tears burn her eyes as she struggles to hold it back... "C-Cody..." It's okay...you know how you said it was okay for me to cry? It's okay if you want to cry too. There's nothing shameful about it. * Rachel twitches hard as a tear rolls down her cheek.. "I...." * Cody pats her hair soothingly, "It's all right..." * Rachel actually trembles hard, as if she's freezing to death, and chokes softly.. "It's...it's not alright...!" It is. It's okay.... Please trust me...It'll be okay. * Rachel gently disengages herself from Cody, wiping roughly at her eyes... * Cody looks up at her sadly. * Rachel laughs weakly.. "You know.. you said I was brave...you said...said I was heroine....then how come I can't stop running, Cody..? How come I can't move on? I'm...I'm stuck... I'm stone..." If this is what you want...then okay. You're not stone. You're a caring woman! I see it every day...the way you're so friendly to Keylia...the way you protect Chrys...the way you've been so kind to me. Stone can't feel, and you feel. And I don't know what you're running from...So I can't really answer that part of the question... * Rachel wraps her arms around her stomach a little.. "Cody... I...." You are not stone. I'm...I'm not...who you...thi....think....I.... Rachel... I don't know you that well, granted...I've only known you for less than a week. But the feelings I've seen you portray...they can't be faked. They're real. * Rachel looks at Cody with....fear.....and bends her head into her hand, tangling her fingers in her hair as she starts to sob hard, violently.. "Oh god...oh god..." Rachel...! * Cody stands up despite his better judgement. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry I scared you..." * Rachel tugs a little at her hair before releasing it, shoulders shaking violently.. "N-no...it's...it's...not you..I...should...g-go...I....you...don't need...I'm fucked-.." No...No it's okay... * Cody very slowly, tentively, puts a hand on her shoulder gently, so he doesn't startle her, in a soothing way. * Rachel doesn't move, not flinching from the touch, looking up at Cody helplessly.. * Cody hugs her gently, trying to be as comforting as possible as she cries. * Rachel sobs hard against Cody, clinging to him as if she's drowning... * Cody lets her cry as long as she needs to. The tears flow freely onto the dry cloth of Cody's clothes, as the stillness of the night encompasses the two... ~~ LUDE END ~~