Start of #lunar-iog2 buffer: Mon Oct 08 21:42:52 2007* Now talking in #lunar-iog2
<Niri> ==Lude Start==
* Niri sits on the walkway of the Spire's uppermost level, silently watching the slowly spinning crystal that now encloses her mother's still body. She doesn't make a sound, but every now and then she wipes her eyes, which are slightly blurry with unshed tears.
* Tanan speaks up, hesitantly. He sounds as though he's not sure he wants to speak, but feels he has to. "Niri..."
<Niri> ...Hm?
<Tanan> I... you need to snap out of this. I'm not going to tell you to get over it. I can't... exactly understand what you're feeling, but it's right to be concerned for your mother. Despite what that blind fool- I'm sorry, Trune- said, this isn't your fault.
<Niri> I....think I know it isn't. Deep down.
<Niri> It's hard to feel otherwise at the moment. But...I'll be okay. I know we can't stay here long, I just wanted to have a little time before we leave to...be weak instead of strong.
<Tanan> Yes, no... Rather, that's fine. It's just important to understand. Choosing to come here didn't make this happen. Your mother has been Zophar's enemy for a long time. Leah would have turned whether you or anyone was wearing me, whether you'd stayed home or not.
<Tanan> If you hadn't been here, if you hadn't been the one.. things might have been much worse. It could be that only because of your actions she's in that crystal recovering now.
* Niri looks up at the crystal, thinking for a moment, then nods slowly. "Maybe you're right."
<Niri> Still....Ryllan says I have to be prepared to....let people die for me.
<Niri> Do you think that's going to end up happening?
* Tanan hesitates. "I... don't know. It's possible that you might not all survive. I'd much rather protect you at the cost of someone else, than to lose you to save someone. There's no guarantee. If it came to a choice between you and me or all the rest though... I don't think you could just abandon them, could you?"
<Niri> I...don't know. I don't think I could. But...Ryllan keeps telling me I may have to. *She grits her teeth and clenches a fist, staring at it* I'm just so /tired/ of losing people. All I want to do is find the one responsible and beat the ever loving crap out of them so I won't have to lose anyone else that I care about.
* Tanan sounds a little bit sad, and just a little bit pleased. "I understand. Don't listen to Ryllan. If it comes to a choice between us and them, it might be better for them to survive. We can't beat Zophar alone."
* Niri lets out a breath, some of the tension leaving her. "...I'm really glad to hear you say that."
<Niri> Sometimes I think the cost of all this is way too high.
<Tanan> Oh, I understand that they might not be able to kill him without us, but they might be able to seal him away again. So long as Johnathan survives, another attempt can be made, in the future. I wasn't the first.
<Tanan> The alternative is worse, though. I agree... it'd be better if you could live your life peacefully, if you were running around some ruin back near home now.
<Tanan> But... we can't do that. Whatever the cost is.. it's nothing compared to what it could be. Still... let's survive and make _him_ pay it, if we can.
<Tanan> I.. failed you back then. You were right not to abandon your mother, whatever that worthl- whatever Trune might have said. I thought I could protect you, and I was wrong. I'm sorry.
* Niri nods vigorously. "Yeah. I'm going to rip Zophar apart for everything that's happened."
* Niri stops and blinks.
<Niri> You mean against Leah?
<Niri> She's much more powerful than we thought. It's not your fault. I charged straight into it, too. I thought if I could just get to her...
<Tanan> Yes.
<Niri> But...you're getting stronger, right? Now we have the Pendant, and I'm sure we'll find another piece soon...
* Tanan hmms. "Yes. And it's very comforting to know that I can incorporate something and have the person survive. It feels.. odd to have Lucia speak to you through me, but not... necessarily bad. I feel stronger, certainly. Different. It's difficult to explain."
* Niri nods. "Then I'm glad. That Pendant is...comforting to me, too. I grew up seeing it. Despite my differences with Mom, it makes me feel...stronger, kind of."
<Niri> ...Um. It also...helps to know that you care about whether people live or die, when it comes to finding the pieces.
* Tanan stays silent for a few seconds, then slowly speaks, sounding a little unsure of himself. "...It's better for no one to die, if they don't have to. It's one thing to kill to protect people, but I'd rather not for no reason."
<Niri> It is. I'm just a bit...relieved to know that you agree.
<Niri> I'm still trying to...figure you out. It feels like you've changed so much.
<Tanan> I'm sorry. I'm still growing.. waking up. I'm not who I was, not exactly.
* Tanan sounds a bit puzzled. "Rather, I am, just... I can't really explain it?"
* Niri shakes her head. "I can't either. I just know it makes me sad, sometimes. Kinda."
<Tanan> Ah. Well. We can't help what we are, I suppose.
<Niri> No, I guess not.
* Tanan sounds vaguely amused/
<Niri> Tanan, this is gonna sound strange, but...sounds like you get confused now and then too. So, I hope you know that I'm here to help YOU out if you ever need to talk. Dunno if it'd help or anything, but I'm always willing to do what I can.
* Tanan sounds vaguely amused. "At least I know who to complain to, though."
* Niri chuckles. "That would take away a lot of frustration, yeah."
* Tanan sounds a bit surprised. "I... sure. I'm more worried about you than me, though."
<Niri> Well, maybe...but that doesn't mean you don't matter. And besides...that's what friends do, right? They help each other out.
<Niri> And you don't have to worry about me that much. I won't pretend this isn't hard. It feels like someone's ripping into me and shredding my heart to pieces. But...that doesn't mean I'm anywhere close to giving up.
<Tanan> Nothing to do but go forward.... yes.
<Saki> * There's something of a presence at one of the entryways to the room: in her usual silence, and keeping respectfully out of earshot until Niri and Tanan were done, is Saki leaning against a wall.
* Niri senses someone nearby and turns, after scrubbing away the last of her mostly-dried tears.
* Saki is rather resolutely not looking Niri's way; it could be construed as rude, but for Saki it's probably meant to be her idea of giving Niri a little privacy and space.
<Niri> Hey, Saki. Did you need something?
* Niri has her voice /mostly/ under control by now.
* Saki blinks once, still looking in the same direction: a little sheepish, perhaps, as she raises a hand to tug at her hair. "... ah... I was supposed to be letting you know we're looking to head out." She pauses, considers, and: "... I can easily not find you for a while."
* Niri pauses, blinking, then slowly smiles a little bit. "...No. I think I'm okay. I can be ready to go shortly." She gives Saki a grateful look, however.
* Saki frowns, finally glancing over and picking herself up off the wall. "... are the both of you alright?"
<Niri> I...I am. Mostly.
* Niri gives Tanan a questioning, mental nudge. "How about you?"
<Tanan> Hm? Yes.
* Saki rakes her hair again, looking up and to the side in vague embarrassment. "... mm. I've got someone for you to meet. But... later might be better."
<Tanan> Oh?
* Saki winces, and regards Tanan carefully. "--mh, on the other hand, if it goes wrong you'd at least get to blow off some steam, I suppose," she mutters, only half to herself.
<Niri> What do you mean? *tilts her head, curiously* ...Wait. You're not thining of bringing Rachel out to play, are you?
* Saki almost chuckles, then it turns into a faint scowl. "Probably not the best verb for it, but... mm. We're reaching... ... compromise," she settles on the word at length.
<Niri> Really? That's good to hear...
<Niri> I really would like to talk with her, I think. When she's willing.
<Niri> ...Granted, she'll probably want to throttle me within three words. I doubt she cares much for "spunky" personalities. But...
<Tanan> I... don't believe she'd try. I doubt she likes me much.
* Saki splits a slightly self-mocking grin at last, raising her head back up. "--she'll behave, she says." She nods towards the Professor's comment, almost finding it humorous, then she sobers again. "... the 'willing' part might take a while."
<Niri> Well...I don't like to /force/ her, but...I'd really like her to listen.
* Saki hunkers down to sit on the edge of the walkway, almost absent-mindedly staring down over the edge. "... mm," she sounds off in contemplation, then falls silent for a moment.
* Niri watches Saki curiously.
* Saki tenses, very slightly; something in her posture changes very slightly, as her back straightens and she seems to carry herself with more pride; her face hidden from Niri's viewpoint, the voice is a dead-giveaway, hard and fast as a whip. "--well?"
<Tanan> Oh my.
* Niri smiles a bit. "Hello, Rachel. Thanks for agreeing to talk to us."
* Saki rakes her hair; it's almost exactly the same as Saki's mannerism, but a violent tug. "--tch! I could hear you just fine. It's this stupid girl's decision to parade me around."
<Niri> Hey, whatever else Saki may be, she isn't stupid.
* Niri takes a deep breath, forcing herself to let go of her irritation. She smiles. "We're not enemies, you know."
* Saki huffs out in irritation and glances to the side; her mouth is set in a thin line, her line of sight basically met with a scowl. "And we're not allies either." It comes out more of a sulk than a threat; beyond it, she doesn't move.
<Tanan> Then what are we?
<Niri> No. But we could be, if you wanted. I can't speak for the others, but...you've been given as raw a deal as any one of us, me included. I'd like to help you somehow, if I can.
* Saki grits her teeth. "--the fucking /jacket/ that keeps-- ngh." She lapses back into moody silence as Niri talks, then screws up her brow. "--you're sounding exactly the damn same as this one."
<Niri> You're just lucky I'm not my usual cheery self.
<Niri> And don't you talk about Tanan that way.
* Tanan sounds amused. "Jacket, huh?"
* Saki grits her teeth and scowls off to one side again; her hackles clearly rise at Tanan's question, but she just mutters. "--nhh. Lazarus might be able to help us. We agree about that."
* Niri nods. "It might. It might even help us, you never know. But we're not necessarily going to demand you help us out in return for us taking you to Lazarus."
<Niri> What I AM going to ask, though, is that you stop sulking like a kid.
* Saki openly growls at that, whipping around to face Niri before - apparently - remembering just what is stretched around her torso and drawing back. It doesn't stop her shouting. "Sulking--! Have you /any/ damn idea what I have been through, girl?"
<Niri> Some, yeah. Not everything. But you've been separated from those you care about, had your beliefs shaken, been betrayed by people you respected, unwillingly tied to someone you don't always get along with, and ultimately torn from someone you love.
<Niri> Sounds pretty darn familiar to me.
* Saki grinds her teeth as she listens, eyes flashing with anger. Almost immediately after Niri's speech is over she whips her head around to one side, barking an order at empty space. "--you shut the hell up, as well!" echoes around the room as she turns back to Niri. "... fine," she grinds out.
* Niri raises her eyebrows. "I'm not trying to make you angry, you know. Honestly, you've been angry long enough. It must be exhausting to hold onto your fury for so long."
<Niri> In all fairness, you probably have more of a right to be angry than me. Part of what I've been through has to do with who I am, but part of it is what I CHOSE. I accepted this bond willingly. You didn't. But that doesn't mean you have to be miserable as long as you're with Saki.
* Saki picks herself up from where she's sitting, drawing herself up to her full height - her posture has none of Saki's withdrawn hunch. "Tch. Fury's all we /had/. The Prophet's way of /life/. Having to share a body like this doesn't help."
<Tanan> Hah. But anger's only useful when there's something to direct it at.
<Niri> And directing it at us does you little good.
* Saki snarls under her breath again - aptly, at nothing in particular. "--I never asked for this. How the hell should I feel? Nn?" She shakes her head in a violent tic of motion. "--Lazarus first. Then we'll see. She wants to drag me along even after that."
<Niri> I'd say that's up to you. Honestly, I'd like you to come along too...but no one's going to force you.
<Niri> We'll only stand in your way if you side with Zophar.
<Tanan> Now, now. I wouldn't stand in her way if she did that.
* Niri raises a skeptical eyebrow. "Oh?"
* Saki looks stunned for the briefest of moments, her eyes suddenly ablaze with anger. "With /it/?" - she spits the word - "Haven't you been paying damn attention? He was our /enemy/! The one and most important! --ngg!" Rachel physically wavers, stumbling to one side, then drops to one knee with a gutteral curse.
* Niri takes a step forward. "You okay?"
<Tanan> Can't stand in the way of someone with no legs. Besides, she'd beat the tar out of herself first. I think she might hate him as more than I do...
* Saki shivers across her body, shuddering deeply once, then in an inhalation of breath stumbles backwards to end up sitting on the walkway, blinking in confusion.
<Niri> ....I think you're right, Tanan.
* Saki doesn't respond to Niri at first, instead going through what looks like rather automated checks - head, feet, hands, sense of ego and id.
* Saki then clearly decides that clutching her head is the way to go. "... ow," she adds helpfully, "--... you made an impression."
* Niri blinks. "I did?"
* Saki keeps one eye covered, wincing and propping herself up on a hand. "Mm. ... whatever you said last, she'll be moaning about for days."
<Niri> Eheh. I'm sorry. Didn't mean to set her off like that...
* Saki shakes her head. "Mm. --I said I'd do it. It had to be done."
* Niri sighs. "I just wish there were a way to set things right with Rachel."
* Saki picks herself up yet again, testing her legs experimentally, and chuckles. "She'll get there. Maybe. If Lazarus really works, maybe that will do it."
<Tanan> Should be interesting to see
<Niri> ...So. You said we're leaving?
* Saki rakes her hair, eyes closed; she nods. "... mm. I think Mikel was offering you the pick of the Storm--... thing."
* Niri smiles a bit. "...Okay. I'd better go talk to him."
<Tanan> What? Aw man.
* Tanan sounds disappointed, but it's obvious he's joking. "I thought the whole goal was to stay alive. What if there's churches on the way?"
<Niri> Hey, he hasn't destroyed the Spire yet, and it's pretty close to a church! See, there's hope for him.
* Saki smiles rather wearily; she looks tired. "--it means I get a rest rather than putting up with every bump he hits," she notes, starting to make her way out.
* Niri chuckles. "You could always ride with us. I think there may be room."
* Niri turns to look at the crystal before leaving, mentally sending out a farewell to her mother. She sighs very quietly, watching for a moment, then turns to follow Saki, the smile returning to her face.
* Saki waves a hand behind her as she carries on; "--no, no. Three's a crowd, and you've already got that."
<Niri> It'd be five, if we include you and Rachel.
* Niri exits the room, leaving the top of the Spire in silence, save for the soft hum of the crystal's systems.
<Niri> ==Lude End==
End of #lunar-iog2 buffer    Mon Oct 08 21:42:52 2007